My mind is blank.
I can’t think at all.
The words just won’t come to me.
I have no one to blame and no one to thank.
Brain is diseased,
multiple sclerosis attacks.
Doing all I can think of
to negate and make it disappear.
eating foods that heal
Reading everything I can
to find the straight route.
Spiritual masters and teachers
are finding their way onto my reading list.
When the student is ready the teacher appears
Soaking knowledge as fast as I can absorb.
Salvation from my troubles.
Realizing that lessons are learned,
as each and every rock is turned.
Coming between a rock and a hard place is excruciating
as the space gets smaller and smaller
until I finally I see that my real self is my soul
and it takes no room,
no thought at all.
Banish all words of negativity.
Think good thoughts
No more replaying the record of poor me,
why God, why?
Someone’s done me wrong song.
No more living in the past,
I should have,
I wish I had,
if only I had.
What good would that do
except bring about more of the same.
I refuse anymore to play that game.
Realizing that I have so much to learn from others,
and now finding that I too am a lesson for them.
That we are all meant to learn
from those who are
All have purpose to be here.
Judge not lest ye be judged.
A calmness is settling over me
as the words appear magically on the page.
Coming from deep inside,
not from my body,
not from my brain,
not from my pain
but from my mind,
Giving me the knowingness that I am whole
no matter what ails me
no matter how old.
The choice his mine to make.
Whether to live in the past
and moan about what I should have done,
could have done
or wishing I could do it all over…
Or to forgive myself for errors
and tragic mistakes
Simply to live in the here and now.
I choose the latter
because right now is all we have.
Be kind to yourself.