The Insane Voice in My Head! It Won’t Leave Me The —- Alone!
For the last couple of weeks. I have been feeling very sick. Some kind of bug or something. And now I am feeling so much better I am back and doing well!
With any kind of disability or disease t here are comes with it, not only the label, but a myriad of difficulties and dare I say, lessons to be learned. I feel it through the very depths of me that I am going through some sort of change. Some sort of needing to look more deeply into something . Maybe it would be helpful if I made a list of things them. I am working on and finding difficult.
Well, since I have MS and and am sitting in a wheelchair that includes just about everything. Keeping an optimistic attitude plastering a smile on my face, no matter how I feel from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning until the last thing I do at night. And taking the advice from our spiritual teachers I say the words,” I live in the moment, and it is good”
It doesn’t always work like that and I catch myself 1000 times a day where I know I am not living in the moment and I am thinking about what I still have to do for Christmas and what you’re going to have for dinner tonight and what happened 50 years ago my brother.
When those thoughts come to my mind it is a moment of insight when I realize that I spend most of my life living in the past or in the future, and not very much of it Being here now. So I guess that’s the thing, the number one thing that I am concentrating on and trying to get that little voice in my head to shut the fuck up. Wiley little devil, he is. And she is getting on my nerves.
I have been reading books by the dozen concerning spiritual growth, because I feel so strongly that that is the path that I am meant to be on. And to tell you the truth that shitty little voice in my head is not very happy about it. It wants to be the boss of everything and I am working against it because to be honest with you. That voice is insane!
This circuit 1950s photo is just so wonderful. I just wanted to share it. I’ll bet the little voice in her head is not nagging to death with nonsense. And by the look on her face, she is definitely in the moment.Isn’t she just the greatest the greatest? I wonder where she is now. I would love to meet her. I wonder if her name is Peggy Sue or Martha Jane or Raeline Patsy
What I really wanted to is to slap the crap right out of that stupid, creepy incessant voice and let her know who’s really the boss. Me! That’s right! I said it out loud. Right now I am definitely being. here now, being in the moment and taking the bull by the horns.
I guess it’s time to get out of the black-and-white 1950s and get into the Now time. The past is gone. The future is not here yet. So I guess it would be an inappropriate time for me to tell you about this story from the 1950s., But I am going to tell you anyway.
Since I was born in 1952, I live in a generation that was so much different so much simpler. I grew up on a farm and we were not wealthy to say the least and yet we always had plenty to eat. My mother was a master at making a meal for six kids and her very hard-working husband. She could take chicken gizzards, Fry them up in a pan, make a great stew from yesterday’s leftovers, add some ketchup for flavor and call everybody to the table. In an emergency. she would make crêpes, which she called flat pancakes rolled up with canned peaches and sprinkle on some cinnamon and we thought we were in the five-star dining experience.
Well, except for the fact that we were using homemade dish towels as napkins. Mom would take 20 pound flour sacks, cut them down and they made the best darn dishtowels. Enough of that. I could go on and on. that certainly is not living in the present .
Sense of Humor.
Laughter. It’s the best medicine.
Hope. It’s what keeps us going; It’s what gets us up in the morning; It’s what keeps scientists searching for cures…
Love. Spread the word.
I have written the book Potty Mouth which by the way is an appropriate title. Here is the URL for the book site and while you’re there listen to the radio interviews that I’ve done. You can hear my real voice and find out more of what the book is about; a woman disabled by MS copes with life courage, wisdom and a profane sense of humor.
In this book, you will also find lists of ways to find healthcare workers and aides, healthcare agency’s and how to handle them. And a lot of personal experience that I learned along the way on how to handle having MS, disability and life in general. Potty Mouth is a great book, whether it be for a caretaker, someone needing care, someone with a disability or anybody who loves a good read. I have gone from adversity and hardship to a place of inner peace and being able to help others.
And the reviews are stellar and I am very proud of this accomplishment.You can read them here on this blog in the title of book reviews or in the URL below.