Ah, Yes. Those glorious days before I had MS. In the world that I thought I was going to be able to dance of my daughter’s wedding and drive myself to my sons college graduation. Bah humbug. Life is funny like that. You never know what you’re gonna get. Well, what I got was a chronic, debilitating and incurable disease. God dammit! I have now gone through all of the stages of grief and now pretty well settled and doing the work of living. Doing the best I can do with what I’ve got.
Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I don’t want to get out of bed and I just want to seep back into a depression and wallow in self pity. I fight it. I can’t let that happen. I can be, I will be, and I am a useful person and have much to offer the world. And, being a child of God I must take care of myself to the best of my ability. Unfortunately that means a trip to the doctor every now and then.
A couple of years ago I spent eight months in the hospital with a perforated ulcer. More life lessons learned and hopefully learned well. and so now I am off to the Dr. because I have been having stomach pains and nausea for the last couple of weeks and I never want to go through that again.
So, first things first I made a reservation for the paratransit bus service which is for those of us with disabilities. And a great service it s and much appreciated. Sometimes however, the bus drivers can be a little funky in one way or another. One driver was severely obese and I thought he was going to have a heart attack on the way to my desk donation. Another was extremely chatty and I was not in the mood. And yet another one actually stopped the bus in order to pick up some lunch, it was chilli I believe she wanted and chilli she was going to get even if it meant making her patrons wait for her!
The first thing that I noticed about this bus driver as he got out of the bus to get my wheelchair loaded up was that he made no eye contact or made any sort of greeting whatsoever. Strike one. He held his head down the whole time as if he wanted to prevent me from seeing his face. When at last I did catch a glimpse of the face I noticed that his eyes were almost shut and there was just a small slit for him to see through. Strike two. Also, he wasn’t wearing the mandatory uniform for bus drivers and he looked pretty disheveled. Now, this is before we’ve even gotten into the bus and he’s already at strike three.
Now it was time to put the seat belt around me. In order to do that the driver must always lean over me to connect the chains onto my wheelchair so I don’t go sliding all over the place or….die. So, while this guy is leaning over me his shirt pulled up and his pants are pulled down a little and I can see his hairy butt crack. I am not kidding. It was so gross and it was right in front of my face and I was unable to do anything about it being paralyzed and in a wheelchair and all.
Finally, he pulled himself up and went to sit back down in his bus seat. Whew, that was close.
All during the bus ride I was a little anxious wondering if you can actually see the road or if he was going to fall asleep driving or if you’d was actually paying attention to the road. I very seriously think that he was very hung over or he needed a hit of something very badly, perhaps cocaine or black tar heroin.
Needless to say I finally arrived at the Dr.’s office. I explained to him all of my symptoms and problems. He prescribed for me a pill to alleviate my ulcer situation and also recommended very highly that I do deep breathing exercises to help with stress levels and to be able to cut down on antidepressants etc. etc. etc. My GP is a wonderful doctor and cares deeply about his patients.
He added one more medication to the list we just turned out to be my favorite medication of all time. It works great and I can use as needed and whatever amount I need at the time. There are times that I need copious amounts in order to handle situations where I am particularly pissed off. And then again there are times when just a little dab will do, for example when the dog has yet again taken a shit in my closet.
Anyway, today I am feeling a lot better. There was a smile on my face again and I have been doing my deep breathing exercises as prescribed; 10 deep breaths in and out 4x/day. It is definitely working I no longer feel like slapping somebody when they pretend not to hear me. Happens often.
This book, Potty Mouth is a memoir of a woman with multiple sclerosis who meets life challenges with courage, wisdom and a profane sense of humor. I am the author and am very proud of this book. It is for sale on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Author House and other fine booksellers everywhere. The link next to the book also has a radio interview where you can even hear me talking about the book and a little bit more about me and you could hear my voice. I am honored to have you check it out.