MS SUCKS! I Am Living Proof!


I have had MS since I’ve been in my late teens and as you can tell from the picture above; taken in my doctor’s office, I don’t look a day over 80. Oh! No! Wrong picture. This was in my doctor’s office and as you can tell the person in the photo is male and also, like me has MS. I however, have a vagina and hair on my head. And also like this guy I have all the symptoms mentioned. The only real difference that I can tell is that I am a she and I am disabled and living in a wheelchair.

Please note  his mental changes and his depression. His facial expression and body language are a  total giveaway and you can tell that he really needs immediate help. I hope he gets it.


This photo is showing a little more detail. It is still a picture of a male however you can see that he has a nice looking face and intestines. You can almost see his penis but they didn’t go down that far. Many of us with MS have heard the phrase “Oh, but you don’t look sick!”  o”You look perfectly healthy!”  Which is really unnerving because then we either have to explain in detail what we are really feeling  or just smile and nod when in fact what would really like to do is to say to them,  “Fuck you!”


Now, many people ask why I am in a wheelchair, how does it feel to be in a wheelchair, or I can’t even imagine what that feels like. This T-shirt kind of says it all and answers many, many questions. I have fallen too many times to count. I have had to have Life Alert rescue me many a time, sometimes with no injury at all and several times ending in hospitalization and broken bones. So, how does it feel? It feels like crap!


I won’t say too much about the spinal tap here except to say that it’s not fun. The first one I had, which I have written about in a previous   post entitled, appropriately enough, My Very First Spinal Tap explained in detail what it was like for me and also happens to be a chapter in the book that I have written entitled Potty Mouth for the obvious reason that it has a lot of profanity and for the not obvious reason that is it a memoir about a woman disabled by MS lwho faces life’s  challenges with courage, wisdom and a profane sense of humor.

Anyway, my first spinal tap helped to give my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis and I will tell  you exactly how I feel about it. I really hate having this shit!


Potty Mouth, the book, looks like the picture above. That’s me in the wheelchair. Of course this silhouette picture was taken quite a few years ago when I went through a period of deep depression and thoughts of suicide. Thank you God, that time is over now.

Let me tell you how that started. I had moved to Dallas Texas after a devastating divorce and finally started seeing a gifted psychotherapist named Dr.Cinzia Levalds who, after about a year and a half of sessions urged me take all of the writings I had done for therapy, put them into book form and get them published. It took me  a long time and much courage and I did it and that is how Potty Mouth came to be!

The book is available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Author House and other booksellers. And I’m very happy to say that is now as an e-book and as a paperback. And as a handicap person my favorite reading method is e-book! And also, I am donating a percentage of all book sales to the MS society. I want to be a part of the world that will make MS obsolete, dead and never to rear its ugly head again.


And finally, folks, we see a female figure! You can see that she has breasts and a slim waist and nicely formed hips. However, she was obviously drawn by a man because she has no head on her shoulders and no brain. God dammit! Bastard! Son of a bitch!

So anyway this poor blue woman has MS with so many symptoms and: incidentally, I have every one of those symptoms as well. And isn’t that a fine how do you do?

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4 Responses to MS SUCKS! I Am Living Proof!

  1. A Dog With Fleas says:

    I hear ya on all of this!! It is a horrible disease and hope they find a cure soon! I understand where you are coming from and you can always reach out to vent or for to just listen. Be well my friend!

  2. Steve says:

    Being an MS. sufferer myself I can say yes to all the above, been there done it. Its refreshing to read and feel how positive you are. Just been discharged from hospital after having a UTI would not wish that on anyone.

  3. renaeclare says:

    Hi Steve, I’m so sorry to hear about your UTI and at the same time very happy for you that you’re out of the hospital. It must’ve been pretty horrible if you were actually hospitalized! And I know with MS it’s one thing after another. Thank you so much for your very kind comments. It means a lot. How long have you had MS and how are you doing? I didn’t see a picture posted so I can’t tell how old you are. At any rate I wish you well and I will talk to you later.

  4. renaeclare says:

    Hello A Dog With Fleas! Thank you so much for your reply. You always know just what to say. I sent you a note before but I don’t know where it went LOL which is nothing new what with the brain fog and all. What I said was that I had read some of your previous blogs again and found out that you have actually read the dictionary twice! What the hell is that all about? You are one smart cookie! And then add to that, you are an awesome writer the great storyteller. Do you ever show your blogs to your boyfriend? That could give you some extra incentive to write. Anyway, my friend I hope you are doing okay
    Oh, and one more thing, I still don’t know your first name…

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