Nobody Wants to Be a Burden


The last thing any parent wants to do is to be a burden to their children. And I fear it has come to that.Or rather I should say it has come to that a long time ago. As my MS has progressed along the years I have had to rely more and more on other people and those closest to me are my kids, Lara and Ryan. They’ve both grown up to be fairly decent adults… oh no I mean to say really decent adults…. and any mother would be proud.

One of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do was to find a home health aide to help ease the load that was placed on these two fine people, and my best friend, Brian when it became so evident that we would need the help and that I could no longer be left to my own devices. Finding an aide who is honest, competent, and truly wonderful has been a long, arduous, and painful task but I finally have Tanay and she is my lifeline.

No longer do I fall and have no one here to help me get up. No longer do I get my wheelchair stuck in unmovable places and have to call Life Alert to come and save me from another goddamned disaster.No longer do I cry in frustration from not being able to make my own lunch or do my own laundry. Tanay is a godsend and I love her.

I would urge anyone who needs help in day to day existence to do the things that make you exhausted breaking down in tears of frustration or finding yourself in dangerous situations to seek the help to which you are entitled. It’s a humbling experience to have to admit that you are no longer able to do the things you were once doing with strength and vitality. And at the same time it is  much better to have the help you need than it is to be a burden.

There is no shame in asking for help. .There was no shame in needing an aide. Not one of us has asked to be sick or disabled or to have this voracious beast, multiple sclerosis. All of us want to be independent and strong and self-sufficient.

My wish is for you is that you are strong enough to ask for help My wish for you is to get the help that you need. Nobody wants to be a burden.

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5 Responses to Nobody Wants to Be a Burden

  1. lori says:

    Where do you find these pretty pictures? I love that you are able to write every day. I can truley say I look it up every day to see what you have written.

    Take care to tomorrow!


    • renaeclare says:

      hello Lori, thank you so much! Sometimes I really don’t feel like writing anything. And then I do and I feel better. Writing is therapy for me. It helps me to feel a connection to others and to give thanks for what I can do today. And I really do appreciate you.

  2. Lynn Smith says:

    Damn maybe it isn’t menopause lol

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