A Place Where Multiple Sclerosis Doesn’t Matter

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I’m looking for a place where I belong in this world, a place where Multiple Sclerosis doesn’t matter. I am antsy and constantly looking for something to keep me busy so that I feel as though I have accomplished something during the course of a day. Being paralyzed and in a wheelchair, I am no longer able to work. Some days it’s a chore just getting up in the morning and by mid afternoon I’m exhausted and need to lie down.

I have written a book entitled Potty Mouth which is in the process of production. I sent it off to an editor. I found the book cover that I’m interested in and I am waiting to hear from the artist. I’m reading and looking online how to blog, how to submit articles, how to write a newsletter, and how to post on social networks and I am doing it all in order to find my self-worth and my self- respect which I seem to have lost along the way. I probably, like so many things, dropped them on the floor and ran over them with my chair and have broken them all to hell. MS is a bitch on steel wheels and it all seems like a little too much. I am feeling overwhelmed.

I am lonely and it sucks and I am constantly looking for something more.

Sad and gloomy are not words I would use to describe myself. I am usually upbeat and optimistic although once in a while I am teary, weary, and worn. Today is one of those days and I don’t want to waste time not being present. If I look at everything as it is right here and now, I am fine (and dandy); I am busy, and working, and when my mind is active I am not even thinking about the things that are bothering me. The spasms and pains and depression are diminished at the moment and I am more than an MS patient I am Renae Clare; a funny, active, woman/writer.

It’s been a good week and I got lots of things accomplished. Tomorrow promises to be another good day so I will put on my happy face and take my medication and rise up against all of the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis and see if I can find a place where MS just doesn’t matter.

http://www.thepottymouthbook.com

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One Response to A Place Where Multiple Sclerosis Doesn’t Matter

  1. MS doesn’t matter here on your lovely blog! MS also does matter here on your lovely blog because you show such amazing empathy in your words and I want to return that empathy your way. Love and (((HUGS)))

    Christine xxx

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